What brought up this contemplation was something that happened earlier this week: someone challenged my authority.
The first thing is that we have to learn the difference between someone disrespecting us or we just feel disrespected. Emotional ears hear from a place of offence. This was what happened, it’s not what someone said or did, it’s what I was triggered by. And as long as I don’t recognise my triggers, my Ego will always take the lead and a lot of things will be perceived as an attack.
As a proud Leo, I irritate rather easily, I often respond and react with my Ego. This is one of my biggest vices for as long as I could remember, and I would really like to let it go.
But what exactly is Ego?
The ego is a collection of beliefs and past experiences that defines how a person interacts with others and with life.
To let go of the Ego is not to abandon it, and we must truly understand something in order to let it go. When we want to go within, self-reflections and shadow works are the key. Naturally, I turned to the Oracle Card for some inspiration.
The card I got was Sisterhood of the Rose. At first I was confused, it had nothing to do with my inquiry.
However when I took a closer look, it all made sense.
This card represents a lineage of priestess and mystics, who devote their lives to serve humanity and seeding light consciousness. To walk this path means being devoted to seeing and creating beauties wherever we go. It is an action card. It calls us to literally surround ourselves with and to make beautiful things. It also calls us to see the beauty in others and to gift others our beauty.
The most beautiful gift we can give another person is the gift of our own personal growth. The more we know ourselves and develop the courage and skills to communicate our inner experience, the more that trust and love can flourish.
We were all told to be a somebody, but know that it is okay to be a nobody, as long as you know just who you are.
Then how do we get to know ourselves and let go of the Ego?
The steps are quite simple: identify, surrender, accept, embrace and let go.
First, feel the resistance in your body and mind, that’s usually a very good place to start. Then identify what your stories and insecurities are. Who are you? What do you want?
Once you notice your issue, the defensive or validation mechanism will kick in, you will want to ignore the problem and hope it will go away, trust me it won’t. Don’t look away, experience it and surrender to the fact that it made you feel uncomfortable or even powerless.
Admit to yourself that this issue is very real, this old wound is still causing you pain. Accept you for who you are, both the beautiful and the less beautiful part of you.
Sit with your insecurities and all the (upsetting) emotions that come with them. Some of these emotions might seem overwhelming, but remember, they’re your emotions, they come from you, and you can handle you. Embrace your insecurities and emotions, give them a big hug.
Sometimes, we hold on to pain so we could feel; we hold on to traumas so we have something or someone to blame; we hold on to a toxic relationship because we’re afraid to be alone. Keep noticing what you are holding onto and why. The clearer the reason, the easier it is for you to let go.
It’s normal if it takes a very long time and quite some back & forths to work through a certain story from our past. It’s also possible that many issues surface at the same time. We can even find all phases seem to happen seamlessly together for another old wound.
The most difficult part is that the Ego is not something we just learn once and the job is done. It is a constant work in progress, every new experience will shape it.
The more we practice this process and train our self-awareness, the more we will learn about ourselves and become an empowering being in this world. By raising our vibration, reacting to things with our humility and consciousness rather than our Ego, we will be less irritable and more compassionate.
Now let’s begin the long journey into ourselves.
Inner Orbit 