As the moon’s energy decreases and shadows form, it’s a good time to turn our focus inward. When we start our inner development, we will discover things about ourselves which we are not comfortable with. And that is our shadow self, the “self” we hide away from others and maybe even from ourselves. The shadow aspects play a very influential part in our lives on our behaviours and ways of thinking.
Our shadows can be shaped by cultural, even ancestral conditions, it can also be re-developed or re-formed by the ever-changing external environment throughout our lives. When we see the word shadow, we usually associate it with negative things such as darkness, envy, insecurity, but it’s a lot more than that, it can also be a positive undiscovered trait, a hidden talent, like empathy or creativity. Such traits are suppressed because they were not encouraged in the environment we grew up in, or they have become dormant because they are not valued in our current environment.
Nevertheless, our shadow is not something we should be scared of or feel ashamed of. It is like the two sides of a coin, both sides co-exist together in duality, both sides are us. It’s about keeping a balance, like the Yin and the Yang, day and night, the moon and the sun. That’s why shadow work is so important for our spiritual enlightenment and personal development.
The key to work with our shadow, is not to reject any unwanted emotions or thoughts that come up, or try to control them, but rather to accept the validity of all our emotions and embrace them with open minds and arms, as our shadow contains truly powerful lessons.
First we need to start paying attention to what triggers intense feelings in ourselves or triggers strong reactions. We very often project our feelings onto others. For example, sometimes we are not really angry at someone, we’re actually angry at ourselves. Once we recognise our triggers, we can use tools and technics to wake up our deeper self, to have an inner discussion and find the cure. Tools such as Tarot or Oracle card can help guide and inspire our unconscious mind.
So, let’s take a look at shadow work, through the card I drew today: Ten of Cups in Reverse.
This card has strong water and Yin energy. In reverse it represents intense feelings and conflicts between great desires and false romanticism. It signifies that we might have put up a defensive force filed or a shield in life, for self-protection, perhaps due to lack of trust or security. But this shield also stops our true self from shinning through and others or the light from coming in. Ten of Cups in Reverse tells us to be more sensitive towards others and in the meantime, not to mould our lives into a “perfect” shape according to certain standards. We should be content with the lives we have already, even if it doesn’t conform to a specific social image. We’ve been taught to smile, to appease, to adapt to expectations, and that’s exactly the reason why we’ve lost touch with ourselves. Don’t let the society’s ideas about life, love and faith keep the real life out.
Another important message here is that we need to rebuild trust, the trust in others, but most importantly, in ourselves. Trust the process, trust our own timing and how fast or slow things progress for each one of us.
Learn self-awareness and human nature. The more we access the degree to which we can truly trust ourselves and others, the more secure we will feel.
In the past week, whenever I sense anger, jealousy, frustration, etc., I jot down the events. The questions I ask myself were:
- What do I feel?
- What happened?
- Who (else) is involved?
- Would I have the same emotion in a similar situation but with another person?
- Do I feel this way because of the situation or the person involved, or both?
- When was the last time I felt the same way? What happened then?
- What are both situations and persons-involved have in common?
- Why do I feel this way towards a situation or a person?
Turns out what triggers most of my negative emotions is not someone or something, it’s my own insecurity. My fear of being vulnerable; losing control; being replaced; being a failure; not being needed or valued, the fear of being forgotten and unloved.
Aside from the environmental factors and my upbringing, my natal chart also played a big part in my insecurities, no surprise here 🤣.
If you also have Scorpio in your chart, you’re probably not afraid of most things other people fear. Not darkness, not pain, we face these truths head-on. What we fear is vulnerability. We feel like if we open up to someone, we hand them the power over us, and we need to be in control at all times. The world we are in right now is already unpredictable and uncertain, (the illusion of) having control over ourselves (and others) is probably the only thing that’s left to make us feel secure.
And that’s the thing, we cannot control every single thing entirely, we certainly cannot control others. Deep down we ourselves don’t want to conform or be controlled, so why do we want to control others? It’s not even a fair thing to ask for. We all have freewill and we shouldn’t want to take that away from anyone if we don’t want it to be taken away from us.
Instead of trying to control others and getting all worked up by something that has already happened, what we can and should do, is to change our reactions towards the situation, open our hearts and influence others in a positive way by leading by example. And this, is the demon I need to exercise.
Inner Orbit 