It appeared to be at the work place. The colleague who left the company and moved to California, Robert, came back to visit us. I was stuck in a meeting.
By the time I was done, I think I’ve missed him. So I went looking for him, and saw everyone else has gotten presents from him. I saw another colleague Cisco and pulled her aside to try to fish for information regarding how Robert’s doing and his whereabouts, only to find out that Cisco is also leaving the company.
We were at a restaurant or a bar, it’s Cisco’s goodbye gathering. It’s on the same day when Robert visited us. We were talking about him and Ricky was telling us some crazy thing he heard that Robert did in California. I remember I associated beach and seagulls with his life in California.
Debra suddenly appeared and told us there’s a party held in Robert’s honor and if we want to come we had to leave now. I felt bad to ditch Cisco but with Debra’s help I made it look like it wasn’t me who really wants to go, but it’s her who’s rather convincing.
While trying to leave I ran into a little issue with the waitress, who mixed up the seats and because some of our colleagues left without paying, she demanded us to pay right away for the colleagues who’s already left, and no one wants to do it. They asked me to take care of this but but I had a bad experience in this regard before, I hesitated. I had to stay just a bit longer, to figure out what I should do.
“We really have to go if we don’t wanna miss Robert’s party!” Debra said, I contemplated. I looked up to the left and saw the waitress, she mouthed across the room to me: “just go”. I stood up and left with Debra, not caring about what others were saying. We were walking fast down the stairs while chatting about something I couldn’t recall. The stairwell was rather dim.
Then I woke up.
What does this dream represent?
Obviously this Robert person is really important to me, he’s someone I wanted to see but couldn’t (find excuses to). So when there’s a chance I would do anything to grab it and would feel rather devastated if I missed that chance.
In the dream I missed the initial opportunity to see him and later I was presented with another one, although there’re obstacles, i.e. current obligations, what people would think, etc., I managed to run towards that opportunity with some encouragement (the waitress) and help (Debra) externally.
The disappointment of seeing everyone getting a present from Robert except me, represented that I’m longing for the special attention from this person, however I fear, not only did I not have his special attention, he thinks everyone else is more special than me.
The setting was the work place and a restaurant/bar, I miss the social interactions and my insecurities most likely have to do with work (stress).
Walking quickly down the stairs without knowing whether I finally got to see him at this party, whether the process was smooth, whether the meet was to my satisfaction…and the dark stairway leads down to the unknown, this probably means I’m rather uncertain in my life, go through the days in the dim light, without a proper direction or purpose.
Inner Orbit 